The Truth Behind The Blog

I always hear parents say they are screwing up their kids. I laugh and think, well that is job security for all the therapits out there. I share my parenting views on here as well as my frustrations and aggrevations. My goal will to be to look at parenting in my own unique way and share my experiences.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

I was asked.... So I will tell....

QUESTION:  What is the hardest part of being a Mom?

I know a few people having babies.  In one of my proud parenting moments I said, "you think pregnancy is tough, wait until you have the kid."  There are two schools of thought depending on who you talk to about me as a parent.  Some say I suck ass and others think I am great, there seems to be no in between.

My family, says I yell too much and don't let them have fun.
My friends say I have great kids that obviously love me and I am patient. 

I run a daycare for goodness sakes, I have patience.  NOW!!!!  With my kids, a different story and that is because it is.  I am with them all day!

With my children if we go somewhere I give them a list of expectations with their behavior.  My son should know this by now and my daughter I remind.  For example I brought them to ChuckEChesse (hate that place by the way) and I told my daughter what I expected out of her behavior.  Now when she didn't follow directions I would say, "Alexanderia what did I say?"  She would turn her behavior around.  Now when we are with family I watch my kids like a hawk.  My sister has a trampoline with no net around it and a pool.  Do I yell at my children, hell yes, especially if they don't listen after I explained the rules.  I am not degrading them or calling them names I am reminding them rules and asking them to follow them.  I was told I shouldn't give my daughter a hard time about not being nice to everyone, I shouldn't force her to hug her family.  I am sorry we hug in this family and giving a hug to your Aunts who just gave you a gift for your birthday seems to be the least that needs to be done.  She needs to learn respect and consideration to others feelings.  I often threaten to take away privileges if she does not use her manners, you know, thank you, good bye, not whining, etc, it is the only thing to turn her behavior around.

I don't expect people to agree with my parenting styles and guess what EVERY KID is different and EVERY PARENT is too.  We should not judge another parenting style.

So what is the hardest part of being a Mom.  All of it.

Learning to temper love with discipline.
Learning to allow your child to develop their own personality, even if you don't like it.
Learning to let go of your child as they get older.
Learning to let them learn their own lessons, even if it is the hard way.
Learning to relinquish control to others.
Learning to trust others to care for your child as well as you do.
Learning to not want to beat every person that offers you freaking parenting advice.

There are more that I can not think of now but here is the deal.  It's all hard but the rewards are amazing.


See the thing is, I measure my ability as a parent by two things, do my children at their core love me.  Do my children still want to spend time with me.  The answer to these two things is yes.  My children are not afraid of me, they love me, enjoy spending time with me and accept how I am willing to say I am sorry if I am wrong.  How many parents have you ever heard going of on their children for an insignificant thing and never say, "I am sorry," we need to be human, it teaches our children to be human. 

So LOVE is the gift the rest is an uphill battle.