I often wonder why we spend money on therapy. I mean unless you know what is going on in those appointments with your kids, how can you be sure they are getting anything out of it? So my son has been going to therapy for about two months now. I was tired of trying to figure him out myself. The first thing I said to the therapist is, "I am not a perfect mother, but I love him perfectly."
It's true, I am not a perfect mother, I grew up in a household where I was never going to be good enough. I occasionally resort to name calling. "What are you stupid?" Of course he is not stupid, he is being eleven. Kids have this limited knowledge of how the world runs and an even more limited understanding of how to use common sense. They are great at not hearing you also. It is like this switch exists that they turn on and off depending on who is talking to them. Should it be a parental figure, it turns off.
So therapy, what am I paying for? I am paying for someone to tell my son the world isn't fair and he needs to learn to communicate his feelings in some way. I could have told him that and in fact I have. So with that being said, what is it that therapy offers our kids? Objectivity, they get someone that they consider not connected to their family that has an opinion. My son is stubborn, he is strong willed and he hasn't got a clue about the world. So until the day he gets married, has kids and realize I was right about something, I will continue to let him have that objective opinion and person to talk to, well at least until he is 18. Then he has to figure it out on his own.
As I tell my son, every time I do something that upsets him, "Well I need to give you something to talk to the therapist about."
Truth is, my kid is pretty lucky. We talk about sex, drugs, and well, Andy's horrible choice in music. We have honest conversations about real life issues. Truth is, life sucks, and therapy costs, so make sure you give them something to talk about.
