The Truth Behind The Blog

I always hear parents say they are screwing up their kids. I laugh and think, well that is job security for all the therapits out there. I share my parenting views on here as well as my frustrations and aggrevations. My goal will to be to look at parenting in my own unique way and share my experiences.

Sunday, April 24, 2011


Oh today is a day that I, like many other parents, have lied to their children.
Depending on your belief system, many people talk about an Easter Bunny that freaking poops out Jelly Beans. This disturbs me for several reasons, mostly the Jelly Bean poop, YES let's teach our children that Bunny's are so wonderful you can eat their poop.

Okay but I am digressing quite a bit here.

The point is, how much damage do we actually cause to our children by lying to them about holidays. I know you are all thinking, "it can't be that bad I turned out fine." Did you really? Now you are lying to your children? How can we in good faith tell our children not to lie and then lie in their face.

I for one am not pushing Santa or the Easter Bunny. Honestly, after I found out my parents lied about that, even if it was just for the "fun" aspect I was pissed. They lied to manipulate me every winter, what is up with that. So besides that, yah I don't think it's cool to lie.

Many of us grow up with these lies and we are fine. None of us suffer per say but I know that I suffered my first heartache and heart break when I found out that the Easter Bunny wasn't real. I would have rather just been told that we were playing pretend. I love pretend and could have dealt with that. To this day I still feel that pain when I relive the moment of finding my parents asleep and the Easter Baskets next to them. The other one that disappointed me was when one Easter my stuffy was missing and every one else had one and they couldn't find it.

Let me point out that the HOLIDAYS are my favorites. I have however, traded in over exaggerated lies to little white lies. I do not push the belief system and if my daughter asks why my rabbit Mystery can't poop out Jelly Beans I am certainly not going to tell her the Easter Bunny is magic and all other bunnys are not.

The thing is that I believe honesty is the key to healthy relationships with our children and if they come out point blank and say, "I don't believe Santa can get around the world in one night, how would he do that." Now instead of pulling the "he's magic card." You pull the, "oh honey when the world was smaller he probably could of but now he has helpers all around the world. Parents are very good at helping." There you go it is honest and they can still believe if they choose.

Truth is, we are all muddling through parenting and MANY people are going to disagree, however, if you are part of a belief system that wants you to lie to your children, you have to ask yourself how solid of a foundation goes along with that. I mean I am just saying....

Generally kids can survive this particular lie, they manage, holiday lies are minor on the scale of lies one tells their children but if we could find a middle ground, that might be the key. Children are smart.

Is it a big deal? Truly, honestly? Probably not, but for me, my goal is to cultivate an honest relationship with my children. If she sees Santa and wants to sit in his lap, that's fine, I am not however going to push Santa. I will let her draw her own conclusions as she grows up.

Friday, April 22, 2011

How To Screw Up Our Children

I came across this idea a few weeks ago but after having lunch with a lovely friend Amy (that I do not spend enough time with) it came up again. She made the comment that, "we all feel like we are screwing up the kids." It is true we do.

In theory most people I talk to want to be a better parent than.....

Truth is parenting is a struggle, it's like being forced to be friends with someone you just met. At times the compatibility of personalities just isn't there. If you are easy going and laid back I can assure you that.... You will have one child that will learn that trait and drive you bonkers and take advantage of every weakness you have. See this is where children come in, wait until you hear my theory.

Evolution is a tricky thing, the evolutionary process is about survival of the fittest. Babies in the wild move off at a certain age or they try and take over their parents authority in the group at some point. Eventually they want to be boss. Truth is, they should be, so children growing up are going to have that same inner instinct and try to be boss and find all your weaknesses. If anything, this should keep you real. However, it can cause stress on a marriage if both people can't be honest about their weaknesses with their children and can't communicate and AGREE on a method of raising children.

Honestly, many divorces aren't because of children or the way the children are raised, it is because of a lack of communication and AGREEMENT. You talk all day long and not get anywhere.

So this blog is about that, watching children fine your weaknesses, embracing their creativity in trying to hit below the belt and more than anything, just finding humor in the process.